Our Personal Philosophy Determines our Future Successes and Failures!

Jim Rohn, the great American success philosopher, speaker and personal development guru said once that personal philosophy is like the set of the sail. Personal philosophy is the foundation of success and failures in life. Everything that we experience on a daily basis or the books we read, seminars we attend, people we associate, the work we do, the country we live in and education and information that we acquire, all determine our personal success and failures.

I didn’t get convince when Jim Rohn said that our personal philosophy determines our success and failures, instead I went ahead and meditated on this insight myself to ascertain its validity and truthfulness. And the better things began to occur in my life when I worked hard to form my genuine personal philosophy. I am convinced today that our personal philosophy is major determining factor of success and failures in life.

Ever since we were little children, we got multitude of inputs about life, people, health, wealth, success, failures, richness, poverty, money, government, jobs, education, relationship, happiness and freedom. We formed our unique views regarding ourselves, our capabilities, intelligence, beliefs, values etc. and they in turn permitted us to act according to our programmed beliefs and attitudes.

Many successful people have built their own philosophy and their individual philosophy which set the sail towards greater abundance, achievement and goals. People who don’t have a clear personal philosophy, they drift away in any direction and they don’t arrive where they actually intend to reach because their philosophy doesn’t permit them to reach there.

I am working hard to form a good personal philosophy which will really guide me towards the success that I look forward to get in my life. I am putting in enough efforts to make some correction in disciplines, learn new mindsets, and programming my mind to accomplish those results which I have in my mind.

Personal philosophy can be positive or negative and the results too correspond to the nature of one’s philosophy. You must be very clear about what you want in life and based on that you must develop your philosophy. Philosophy is the main guiding principle for you and it leads you to the direction you want to travel. You can’t say I want to travel to any direction because you can end up no where.

Your philosophy will influence how much you achieve in life and how less you succeed in life. If you are struggling at the moment then you know what to do. You need to correct, review, reline, revise and rewrite your personal philosophy so that all the mental barriers can be eliminated.

Philosophy is nothing but one’s thinking. You must think in ways that will promise whatever you desire deeply. Philosophy helps one to think in accordance with goals, dreams, vision and purpose. Philosophy is like a newly built road on which you must drive your car smoothly towards particular direction which you have decided.

So take up the responsibility to form your working philosophy so that you accomplish all that you desire and hope to enjoy your life to the full. Accomplishment of things desired, lead to greater happiness because you value those things. Think about your goals, health, lifestyle and happiness and you will be living that lifestyle soon.

Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor

Graduate from rote learning!

The schools and college systems make the simplest subjects so complicated that the students lose interests in serious studies. No teacher, or professor tries to explain to the students in simple, basic and understandable language rather they show off their smartness be making things difficult for pupils to comprehend. They don’t apply the concepts with the real life examples which can easily remove the doubts of students.

When the subjects become so complicated and beyond understanding capacity, the students have no better choice than to learn by memorizing. The rote learning is the only available choice for most students when concepts are hard to crack. Actually all students can’t study well by rote learning. There is a drawback in the present education system all over the world.

Students must learn by understanding the concepts with examples so that the insights carry some deep meaning for students. Students’ careers are determined by rote learning and the job markets really acknowledge the present school system too. Those who gain high grades by rote learning are thought to be smart and intelligent and are given high paying jobs.

I think certificates and marks card should not be the only criteria for getting jobs. Students’ other capabilities have to be identified and understood before labelling some students clever and others dumb.

Anyway, students must graduate from rote learning and learn instead through practical application with establishing some connections through accurate examples. Students are born wise, clever and capable, so they possess the necessary skills to make the subjects simple and easier.

Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor

Follow your own passion and love!

According to me, people who have accomplished great successes in life became successful because they followed their own passion and love. They did what they loved or they loved what they did. These two ways made people scale up in their career, profession and business ventures.

In the schools and colleges students study mainly to get jobs or pursue the studies that they don’t really want to continue but because of their parents, they take up any subjects their parents want them to study. The students don’t really make the choice of studying as per their desires. If they choose according to their heart or passion, it seems illogical to their parents and children don’t want to hurt their parents further, they eventually accept whatever their guardians tell them so.

I am very much fond of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Michael Dell, Richard Branson and many other successful men and women who went after their ultimate passion and love and made themselves super winners. They could be real winners in their lives because of the power of their passion or love. They learned about their love and paid enough attention to invest time and energy. They had clarity of their goals and dreams and because of this clarity, they were able to focus on their passion. Since they focused all their attention on their love, they built momentums and disciplines, which finally turned them into achievers.

The person whose passion was in musics, songs, acting, arts, photographies, writing, speaking, teaching, investing, enterprising etc, did follow their unique passion and today they are considered lucky by the world. In reality, everyone could be called lucky, provided they all pursue their passion and ultimate love. People must first qualify by learning and studying about their particular areas of interests and hobbies and then they can go on to become big in life.

I would encourage everyone to find your niche, the passion or the ultimate love of your life and follow it 24/7. You can get all that you want in your life. But first you must do your homework.

Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor

The Words Do Become Flesh!

“Words are the most powerful tools invented by humans.” Dr. Fuller

You are the words you speak. In other words you are the total sum of the words you use in day to day life. Every vocabulary, every single word that you utter shows who you are and that in turn gives you your result.

2010 years ago, Jesus of Nazareth, spoke this, “A man does not live on bread alone, but every word that comes forth from the Mouth of God.”

There is no doubt about that and we are all the creatures of the words, ever since humans learned to communicate through languages. The animals have no spoken languages, but I do believe, they too communicate with each other by not merely words, but rather by the transmission of mind or instinct, which we humans have lost the contact.

Be careful what you say. Say the words that you want to become and avoid the words that don’t choose to become. Life is a gift for people, therefore learn to educate yourself to speak your desires, your dreams and goals rather than somebody’s dreams or goals or aspirations.

Nobody likes to hear negative or bad news all the time. You got to be choosy in terms of words that you utter on a daily basis. Words have the power to break the marriage, create misunderstanding, cause a great war between individuals or countries and at the same time it brings peace, harmony, good relationship, friendship and positive environment around the region.

The words that are positive, encouraging and empowering, are like the words of God, coming from the mouth of God as referred by Jesus. They build the individual, society and the nations. They attract a large number of audience.

So, as we know now that words do become real in life, we need to be careful in using them to our benefits and we must never cause hurtful feelings to others. It is always better to choose and speak the words that build humanity rather than destroy the world. Use the words as tools for good purpose and avoid using them for bad ones.

Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor

Why do married couples get separated?

We have entered into a new era which is completely different from what it used to be in the past when our parents and grand parents lived their lives. The marriage was considered very sacred and as an institution it commanded great degrees of respect, commitment, loyalty, integrity, honesty and submission. Today, due to rapid changes in education, economy, lifestyle, attitude, philosophy, technology and mindset, people have begun to question everything that was considered once true and unquestionable.

According to me, if we operate from old philosophy of marriage and relationship, the old ideas won’t fit into the new ideas because of new rules and disciplines or habits that have been discovered by people in this present generation. I believe, no two individuals are of one mind, one thought or one attitude. The couples fall apart from each other due to several reasons and I want to explore those reasons here.

1. The married couples fail to take up personal development together.
When two separate individuals date each other, they see themselves as often as possible but they get carried away by whims and fancy of each other’s magical attraction. Each comes with a set of needs and each tries to satisfy those needs by seeking abode in other’s company and they don’t ever think of developing themselves financially, mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually, sexually and physically.

They get married without much preparation. They don’t work on themselves, rather they prefer to assume that everything is fine. But in reality, if they don’t work on their attitudes, emotions, finances, friendship and sexual appeal, nothing much can be expected in the relationship. Today couples must talk about their weaknesses and strengths so that they can figure out ways to reconcile the differences. However they fail to do a lot of homework on each partner. When things don’t go well, they enter into quarrels and ultimately threaten each of dire consequences.

I have been married for 3 years now with a wonderful wife and son. I am so proud of my wife and my son. They complete me as a man because before the marriage and after the marriage, I ensured that my wife and I continually develop ourselves. I mean we engage in continuous learnings. We grow together by sharing our weaknesses and strengths because we want to live a wonderful life. It works and it is the best secret of marriage life in this changing time. Work on yourselves by personal development.

2. The couples don’t do their marriage or relationship homework.
The couples neglect to do the marriage homework. There are many aspects of life which are to be touched upon and discussed through, and it is important that couples who want to lead an ideal lifestyle must engage in doing this work. If the homework is done properly, sincerely and seriously, then the marriage will last for eternity. So do the homework together with your partner before you get married and if you are already married, start the homework that you didn’t do before the marriage. After the marriage, couples need to live their dreams according to their imagination or homework. They need to be happy while living their married life the moment they tie the knot. Happiness is experienced not at the end of married life but during the marriage.

3. The couples don’t set right their goals, dreams and visions.

The couples who get separated are those who didn’t bother to set right their goals, views, dreams and visions together. They assume that their dreams and goals are congruent with their ideal goals of marriage but in truth there is nothing much to gain. They both have jobs and their jobs demand their quality time but they have no quality time together to speak or share about their dreams. On the way babies come along as new members of the family and they occupy the major parts of their life. They don’t find enough time to spend with each other to know and learn continuously about each other and then they slowly drift apart.

4. The couples don’t know their purpose and mission.
The couples get married or date each other without realizing their ultimate purpose and mission in life. Marriage has its own purpose and mission. But the couples fail to attend to this aspect of life together. They don’t know their purpose and since they don’t have any idea about it, they tend to take things lightly and with no any regards. Couples’ ultimate purpose in life is to lead a happy life, but their life turns out to be a life filled with miseries, curses and errors.

5. The couples don’t buy each other flowers.
My wife loves flowers when I buy for her and she says the flowers remind us of our true, original and real love for each other. She feels appreciated and valued. And I feel happy to buy flowers for her whenever I feel the need without her expectation. This generates enthusiasm in relationship. I think the couples bought flowers for each other when they dated before marriage but they don’t continue that after the marriage. It is a great way to stay together in commitment and loyalty with your partner.

6. The couples don’t fuel their romance.
People have learned to fill gasoline in their vehicles but they forget the same analogy to refuel their marriage relationship. Marriage is like a car engine, which won’t run without any fuel, to make the car run, one has to put gas and in the same way, if their is no sparkle, no refuelling of love, romance, attraction, magic words then there won’t be any kinds of marriage worthy of praise or survival. It is important to refuel your married life with praise, encouragement, love, and magic words.

7. The couples don’t continuously feel young.
The moment couples get married their feelings shift drastically towards becoming old and retiring in life. They don’t behave and act like young people or young lovers. They get conformed to the old couples which they saw in their parents or neighbours. The couples who think and act young, they stay together forever till they die but the couples who think and behave like getting old, drift apart from each other.

8. The couples don’t know what lifestyle to have.
Many couples have small dreams and they think they can it when they work hard for employers who give money in exchange of labour. The couples don’t think big as a result they don’t have big dreams. Big dreams and big thinking lead to having a great lifestyle but the couples don’t engage in shaping their lifestyle together. Marriage is a partnership firm and if both partners don’t contribute to run their business or marriage, then their relationship won’t last long.

There are other many reasons, that we can think about which are responsible for couples being separated day after day these days. It is a sad story that number of divorce rate is increasing all over the world. Those who got separated in marriage, in the first place they shouldn’t have married but because of whims, fancy or ignorance, they said a big yes to marriage.

Each individual is a responsible partner to sustain one’s marriage and it is their duty to add some amazing things in relationship. Before you quit your marriage make sure that you do your homework and personal development together first.

Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor

Limit your association with negative environments and people.

“Get around people who have something of value to share with you.” – Jim Rohn

In the world of ours where network has grown so much that we can hardly imagine ourselves to be staying alone in solitary for the rest of life. We can’t necessarily avoid talking to negative people and associate with negative environments. However the little daily exposure to negative environments can easily influence one’s mind and drain one’s confidence. There are ways to limit the negative association.

Limit the time
We can’t really avoid people who are negative but we can limit the time we actually spend with such people and in doing that we can limit their ability to influence us negatively. The negative people who have negative attitudes towards everything, tend to influence our thinking, believing, achievement and success. They instantly react negatively and make us believe that they know everything and we seem to agree with their opinions. The best choice is to limit the time we spend with negative environments and people.

Value the limited association with negative people and environments.
Excessive influence is bad and it automatically creates poor habits or disciplines. There are cases where our friends whose negative influences affect us so much that we feel they are killing our dreams and aspirations. It is better to limit our association with them because their poisoning attitude is dangerous.

Expand your association with positive people and environments.
We must value our association with people who are positive and encouraging. The positive environment uplifts our spirits and makes us go for the goals we want to achieve in life. The expanded association of positive people can influence us positively on our feelings and confidence that we can easily overcome the negative influences. It is better to spend enough time with good and right people than the negative association.

Read books, Listen to tapes and Watch videos.
If we can’t associate with positive people because it is hard to find near by then you can find ways to associate with such people. The best ways are to read books written by people who are positive and empowering; listen to their audio programs while driving cars or doing other chores, this will fill your mind with positive energies to march ahead towards your goals. Another way is to watch the video programs by people you think are positive and speak to your heart. These are the ways that we can easily limit our association with negative people and environment.

Decide consciously
It is possible to limit our association with negative people and environment provided we are serious about our decision and willing to make our future a better one. We know that negative influences do impact us subtly that we can’t even trace it easily. It is so subtle that it escapes our common sense and consciousness. Everything seems like normal but nothing is in fact normal there. We know this when we don’t get the results we are looking for. So limit the influences with negative people.

Negative influences can come from any body, it can be your own wife, parents, children, neighbours and friends but you should be sure of who you want to spend your most precious time with. Be sharp enough to make a quick decision in this regard and your life will be transformed very fast.

Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor

No two people are of same mind!

It is very strange to know that there are no two people of same mind, thinking, attitude, desires, interests and lifestyles in the whole world. However, there are high percentage of people who pretend to be of same mind, opinions, thoughts and lifestyle who tend to be the birds of a feather but in reality there is none. No two people think the same way as you do or as you believe.

People are friends with one another because it is basically to escape from solitude or from fear of being alone and insecurity. The deep desire to feel loved, appreciated, encouraged and accepted as an important individual causes people to seek companionship. If there were no feelings of insecurity, poverty, illness and loneliness, people wouldn’t seek any companionship with others. They would instead live an independent life irrespective of gender.

People agree with others in order to be in friendship and meet the basic human needs of emotional feelings though they would not agree with the other if it hadn’t been friendship the ground of such co-existence. People differ a lot in thinking, behaving, talking, listening and understanding.

All the married couples too have no 100% same mind, attitude, thinking or opinions about many aspects of life here on earth. The married couples wouldn’t live together on the basis of sex, procreation, love and friendship if they didn’t compromise and conform with the others.

People should be truthful about sharing their views, opinions and thinking with their beloved ones so that the differences could be known and understood in order to create a better relationship with each other. Of course, there is a problem of pretension where though the other is unique and possesses different mindset, tries to conform to the group whichever he/she finds some similarities.

People must accept the differences and try to have independent opinions of themselves so that they don’t fall into crowd thinking. Each individual must think for himself so that there can be a better lifestyle.

Parents are not of same mind with their kids. The kids think differently and operate from different perspectives and in the same manner, parents too operate in different ways. That means, there is no one mind, one soul, one spirit and one enthusiasm or goals.

In my view, people must learn to have their unique and independent minds and not try to conform to the group mentality. The herd mentality does no one good except that it creates dependency, security, comfort, fear and the knowledge of lack, poverty, sickness etc.

Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor

How to live a great married life?

Marriage is a sacred union between two separate individuals who decide to share life with each other based on physical, emotional, spiritual, mental and social attraction. Marriage is indeed one of the best inventions by human civilization. The birds and animals change their partners frequently, but we humans don’t change rather we stay together and raise children mutually.

Today, two opposite individuals coming together to live and share life mutually face a lot of challenges to sustain their relationship due various reasons. And I am not going to touch in detail those reasons however I will discuss how married life can be lived successfully in spite of difficulties.

Love
Love is the real requirement of a successful married life. Here each partner must love himself/herself first before loving themselves. Loving oneself first is the beginning of extending one’s love to one’s partner. If a person doesn’t love oneself fully, he or she can’t be successful in loving their partner. It is essential to love oneself and then extend the same love to others.

Goals
Nobody enters into a relationship today without speaking or sharing about goals, dreams, interests and visions. So it is important to make known your desires and aspirations of life so that both partners could work out a plan to support each other in accomplishing the goals. There must be shared goals. Having goals are essential because it increases the love and understanding among the partners. Goals are nothing but the passion for living an extraordinary life.

Attitude
Another aspect of successful married life is the attitude that each partner has towards the other. When two people enter into the relationship, their attitude must be positive, optimistic, confident and relaxed. Attitude indeed defines one’s successful relationship. It is better to have a positive attitude towards one’s partner.

Giving
Each partner must have the attitude of giving. When one partner gives enough love, care, attention and encouragement to other partner, there is always going to be a harmonious co-existence because they are both giving to one another what the other person needs. Giving is important than receiving.

Gratitude
Gratitude is a great way to affirm and show real love to your partners. You should be grateful for your partner in the first place. The very fact that you are staying in relationship with your partner, you in turn should be grateful for spending life together. When you live together, there are many things that you should be grateful for. You got to appreciate your partner so that you will live in peace and love. Find out at least 5 things that you should be grateful about your partner everyday.

Trust
Of course, when you enter into a relationship, you must trust your spouse because your spouse will never ever cheat you until and unless you loose interest or enthusiasm. So there must be trust from both side.

Forgiveness
There will be quarrels and fights with words and you should not wish that there won’t be any fights. Fights will occur because we interact with external world so much that we get influenced by the media and negative programming that we think getting into some kind of argument is normal. When there is fight or quarrel you must let it go off because by holding it you don’t win any great rewards for yourself. Forgive at once because you should know your priority to live a beautiful life.

Patience
Patience is indeed a virtue but you should develop it because no two individuals will behave or act in the same manner and naturally there will be differences, late or frustration. In that time remember that you got to have patience.

90/10
This is a rule which says that in relationship, each partner will have at least 90% of positive attractions or likings and 10% negative feelings. The fact that two of you are married and living together because of great degree of commonalities between you both.

Think
Reflect for 10 minutes about your partner. Meditate and think about your relationship and the progress that you are making every day. It is important that you act together and by reflecting you can know your strengths and ideas to make it better.

Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor

Speak blessings and not curses

Children are born intelligent, talented, rich, healthy and skilful to live a wonderful life on this earth. They have purpose, goals, dreams, visions and reasons to lead a normal life. They don’t lack anything. They possess everything that requires to be a success in life. They come with a complete package and they are all full.

The parents must speak to their respective kids the blessings that they want to see happen in their children. The words that they speak has power and if they bless their children with goodness, happiness, wealth, health and a unique lifestyle, the children will become like the blessings. If the parents don’t speak blessings to their kids, others will speak and condition them and it won’t be any blessings. It will be only curses.

The media, newspapers and TV will feed the children whatever they don’t want to hear or be. And children will find them very alluring and catchy as a result they fall victims to the media at large. Therefore you got to speak to your children the words of blessings so that you get what you speak and that may be your true intention.

Majority of parents aren’t happy with their children today because these parents didn’t speak blessings into their children and when their children didn’t find any goodness or talents or encouragement in them, they began to drift apart from their parents. The children looked for sources which affirmed them when they had doubts or fears. The media made certain things look so appealing and good that the children began to admire about them. And later they wanted to have or be like them though it wouldn’t make them happy.

It is very important that we should speak only the blessings that we want to see in our life. If we don’t desire for the good things, we won’t get them in our life. Let’s speak for one another the goodness and bless each other with all the things which are responsible to make our lives better and successful.

Speak the positive to your children, and avoid as much as you can to speak curses because curses are negative words and they are powerful. Human words are creative forces and they can create fear, doubt or courage and confidence. You must see that you speak good about everybody so that the blessing you send out will return manifold.

Speak the blessings, encourage one another, affirm with good qualities and build a new person.

Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor

Focus on what you do want!

Approximately, 97% of world population in the world, focus on what they don’t want and only 3% of people focus on what they do want. It is a tragic story that few people get what they want because they focus on getting things they truly desire.

The majority of people lead ‘a life of quite desperation’ because they are not trained to be calm, quiet and peaceful. They are stressed out in life so much that they hardly feel the urge to focus on good things. It is a reality that the media all over the world present one kind of news and information. The media gives what people don’t want and they show as if they are correct while people who want health, wealth, money, abundance, they show as not good, or corrupt.

It is important to know what you want and move towards them. Knowing is not enough, moving towards it is the most important thing. So learn to focus on your wants and they will come to you. However don’t focus on what you don’t want.

When you focus on what you want, you become eligible to get them and you are in line with attracting wealth, harmony and peace. Affirm the things that you want. Visualize them always so that they become real and true. In order to make it more real, you must feel the power that will help you get the things you want.

The whole world is trying to conspire you to focus on what you don’t want, don’t give your attention to it. You instead focus on what you do want by all means. There is a great power in focusing what you do want. So allow everything that you want to manifest in your life.

Focus on what you do want to enjoy the abundant world. You are rich, abundant and prosperous. So get what you want by focusing on them day in and day out, 24/7.

Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor